Dr Chidi Ajayi: ...AND THE CURTAINS COME DOWN!

Dr Chidi Ajayi: ...AND THE CURTAINS COME DOWN!: Yes and the curtains come down on 4 young boys who had a promising and bright future! Oh! My soul weeps for them. I am sure by now the wor...

...AND THE CURTAINS COME DOWN!

Yes and the curtains come down on 4 young boys who had a promising and bright future! Oh! My soul weeps for them.

I am sure by now the world must have heard or read about the gruesome murders of 4 young University of PortHarcourt boys. An unjust murder, maybe a pre-meditated one. I have tried (I must confess) to justify their being murdered but I find none. In my 30-something years on earth, I have never seen anything like the way those boys were murdered! The person who posted the life video on how they were been killed should not be left unpunished! Why couldn't he have called for help from the police but all the person did was to capture the 'motion-picture' and then circulate it!

Even when common unconfirmed thieves were caught, they would only be beaten mercilessly but not killed in most instances and then marched to the nearest police station. But that was not the case for these boys!

I have been asking....what is going on with our youths today? The youths of today are involved in a lot of hideous crimes, you just name them. Funnily, their ages range from 19 years to 25 years. If it is not killing, it will be stealing. If it is not stealing, it will be armed robbery and worse still recruits for bombing!

Whether we like it or not, we are slowly killing the hope of 'Beautiful ones being born'. Please whom can we point accusatory fingers at? Is it our parents, who give us too much too handle or who give nothing at all, leaving us to hustle for ourselves...desperately too sometimes. Or is it the fact that they get caught up in their problems and material things of life, so much so that they can't even spare us a second of their time!

I will keep saying this.."The best legacy a parent can give his or her child are good morals and values" not properties and money.

We shall never get to know the true story of what happened to these boys because they were never given a chance to defend and uphold their honour. There are so many versions to the story but then, who cares?! They are dead and gone. For all I know, it may have been a case of 'being at the wrong place at the wrong time and probably with the wrong friends'! Even at that, it was not enough to kill those bright stars, those 'future of tomorrow'.

When the story of these boys' death broke out, I looked at my son and asked myself where do I start from to tell him, " Son, please face your books. Don't join cult O! Don't follow bad friends O! Don't drink alcohol and don't smoke.." Because, no mother can stand the pain of her son being killed in that manner!

On a final note, parents, remember you are the first teachers of your children. Get involved in their lives today please! Don't bond with them only when they come home from school, do some private investigations on the kind of activities they are involved in at school...so that this kind of mess will not be our portion in the mighty name of Jesus.

May the souls of Tekena, Ugonna, Chidiaka and Lloyd rest in perfect peace. May your families continue to find solace in the Lord for He knows best. And to your killers...I hand them over to God for judgement. Amen.

I believe your deaths will not ever be in vain.

THE BIRDS AND THE BEES!!

This is a commom phrase (or should I say story) and answer kids get from parents to questions concerning sex, sexuality and reproduction. Oh, come on guys!! Who do you think you are fooling...telling that funny story! Do you expect your kids to keep up with that answer? Ehn, if you like don't tell them the truth according to their age and exposure, someone will help you do it and in a way that you may not approve of...practically, I mean!

I understand your fears but for how long are you going to keep telling this story that doesn't reflect the truth about sexuality and reproduction. If questions on this hard-to-talk-about-topics come up, please do not beat about the bush, especially  if you are not comfortable talking about them or you know nothing about it.

What parents need to know is that kids just don't ask those questions based on imagination but on what they might have seen or heard and so they just need clarifications from the most trusted person(s) in his or her world...Mum or Dad!

The point is not to hush the child up or change the topic or tell  'the birds and bees' story but to give an age-appropriate information that will not only be simplified according to their level of understanding but will be accurate.

I am not sure if you guys have noticed but kids are growing up too fast these days! You see a 5yr old boldly asking questions on sex, relationship and reproduction a 15yr old would ordinarily ask or even feel too shy to mention!

It's a parent (be it mother or father)'s primary responsibility to discuss sex issues with children as opportunity arises. It's important that they know the facts so that they can be comfortable with themselves as emerging sexual beings and make well-informed decisions at appropriate times.

The following are some useful tips on how to start the 'sex talk' with your kid(s):

• Get educated or informed on FAQs (frequently asked questions). This will help you overcome your total ignorance, fear and anxiety when the series of questions come up!
• Start building a good communication line between you and your kids. It makes it easier for the kids to come to you for about anything.
• Learn to pick cues when you are with your kid (either from what they say or do). This tells you....it's time for that talk!
• Fill your kids with facts on the issue. Helps to foster the spirit of trust and respect. If you lie about the subject and they find out...you think they will ask you again?!
• And if you don't have the right information on sex and sexuality issues, refer your kids to an Adolescent Health Centre. 

On a final note, please stop this propaganda on 'the birds and bees' story and start telling these kids facts about intimacy, sharing and being responsible to themselves and the people they choose to relate with.

Happy talking! lol.