Dr Chidi Ajayi: A SOCIAL MEDIA MISHAP!

Dr Chidi Ajayi: A SOCIAL MEDIA MISHAP!:  I am sure that by now the whole world must have heard or read about a recent unfortunate incidence that occurred in FESTAC, Lagos. How a on...

A SOCIAL MEDIA MISHAP!

 I am sure that by now the whole world must have heard or read about a recent unfortunate incidence that occurred in FESTAC, Lagos. How a once beautiful and free-spirited soul, the late Cynthia Osokogu, a 24yr old post-graduate student was killed by evil men she met on Facebook...Hmmm! This same Facebook!

Cynthia was lured by these men (she was meeting them for the first time) to come to Lagos for a so-called business meeting (do people still fall for this kind of crap?!) and unknowing to her, she was drugged, strangled and robbed of her money and other things.

Really, if truth be told...whatever Cynthia's reason for meeting these people, was it enough to kill her? Mehn! How wicked this world is and selfish! Now this poor girl has been deprived of achieving her full potential in life!

Like I had mentioned in my earlier blog about the "evils" of this social media whereby our young ones practically put themselves in danger by giving out a lot of personal information, accepting "funny" friend requests from very shady characters, and not to mention meeting with them! Is wah o!

How can our young ones be so trusting that they will consent to leaving the confines of their home and then travel to meet strangers?...In this time of 419ers, ritualists and rapists who parade as human beings!

Please, dear parents, this is most definitely a wake-up call. Let us go an extra mile to know what our kids are   up to, whom they associate with  and their whereabouts.

Like Cynthia's father said, that youths should not be chatting with strangers on facebook, internet, blackberry, talkless of visiting them when you do not know them. He also said that he would be consoled to know that his daughter's ordeal shall save other youths.

"CYNTHIA OSOKOGU, MAY YOUR SOUL REST IN PERFECT PEACE. AMEN"

Dr Chidi Ajayi: STRICT PARENTING OR CHILD ABUSE?

Dr Chidi Ajayi: STRICT PARENTING OR CHILD ABUSE?: "My name is Mary-Jane Ihuoma (real name withheld). I am 14yrs old and I live with my parents and two younger siblings. I sometimes think of ...

STRICT PARENTING OR CHILD ABUSE?

"My name is Mary-Jane Ihuoma (real name withheld). I am 14yrs old and I live with my parents and two younger siblings. I sometimes think of killing myself and other times, I think of running away from home. Worse still, I wonder if they are my real parents. When I don't do my house chores or finish them, my mother would starve me of food for a whole day. If I stay out longer than I should, I get the beating of my life. If I am caught talking to the neighbour's son, my mother would rub dried hot pepper around my vagina, saying "that will teach you to keep away from boys, Ashewo (meaning prostitute)!" Now I do not know which makes me feel bad, my mother doing all these things to me or my father who sees all these things been done to me and doesn't say a word?!...."

"I am Mrs Joyce Bassey (real name withheld). I have five children (12yrs, 10yrs, 8yrs, 6yrs and 4yrs old). They do not listen to me at all. Everything I ask them to do, they do not do them. I give them house chores and I end up doing them. I am tired and it's just that I do not know how to beat a child if not..."

Can we say that the 1st scenario is a case of child abuse or strict parenting? Or would the 2nd scenario be a case of "Spare the rod and spoil the child"? Well, I cannot judge O! But all I know is that I still believe in the power of talking or discussing with your kids. I believe parents should go an extra mile of telling their kids what they did wrong and why they shouldn't have done it or better still asking their kids what they think they did wrong and how or what they should have done right.

If truth be told there are still some kids, especially Nigerian kids who are so stubborn and dem no dey hear word so tey they respect cane pass their mama and papa! But, come O! Don't you think it still boils down to how that child is or was brought up. Because why?...pikin no fit train him or her sef.

On a final note, I think we parents should learn to nip certain behaviours in our kids right from the bud and not just say things like, "She is still a baby" or "It doesn't mean anything" or the famous one "He will out-grow it". If we correct these wrongs on time, we won't resort to beating, abusing or starving these kids all in the name of training them!

Dr Chidi Ajayi: TEENS IN CYBERSPACE!!

Dr Chidi Ajayi: TEENS IN CYBERSPACE!!: Ever wondered how your teen got to know about the internet, more so, get into it and I mean really into it! Not that it is a bad thing to se...

TEENS IN CYBERSPACE!!

Ever wondered how your teen got to know about the internet, more so, get into it and I mean really into it! Not that it is a bad thing to see your child very "up-to-date" with the computer, but sometimes I can't help but worry about the extent of internet usage.

Cyberspace surely allows adolescents the benefits of expressing themselves, as well as, exploring new friendships and experimenting with their identity. We also know that it offers a wealth of educative options and helps them keep up with their favourite hobbies, music, sports, and so much more.

But what we should understand, is that cyberspace is like a 'Big City' where the adolescents meet the good, the bad and the ugly. It does have a lot of downsides with varying degrees of  problems such as addiction, cybersex, radical political groups, satanic groups and formation of somewhat artificial, shallow and transient relationships. 

The very scary one which is a real cyberspace dilemma is the issue of  'Adult Predators'. You are never sure who that other person maybe that chats with your teen. That 17yr old flirtatious girl could be a 47yr old man who may present himself as a supportive, sympathetic confidant who encourages your child to discuss personal problems and who eventually becomes emotionally attached to the predator.

Finally, the question is 'How should parents be involved?' These adolescents need control and to achieve that measure of control, rules need to be made! I don't think sitting beside them while they browse would do the trick but rather, trying to get them learn how to use the internet judiciously even when not under supervision. This judicious use can also be achieved by communicating to them the pros and cons of  internet usage. Parents can address addiction problems by assigning an internet log time.

Finally (seriously, the real finally!), we should really bother about what our teens are really doing in cyberspace and not just lie to ourselves saying, "They have to keep up with other kids". 

Hint: We can start with those doors that lead to cyberspace such as that blackberry you gave your kid last month or the android phones and tablets littered in their rooms or better still that iphone (that I don't even have!)...Lol! I can't shout!