STRICT PARENTING OR CHILD ABUSE?

"My name is Mary-Jane Ihuoma (real name withheld). I am 14yrs old and I live with my parents and two younger siblings. I sometimes think of killing myself and other times, I think of running away from home. Worse still, I wonder if they are my real parents. When I don't do my house chores or finish them, my mother would starve me of food for a whole day. If I stay out longer than I should, I get the beating of my life. If I am caught talking to the neighbour's son, my mother would rub dried hot pepper around my vagina, saying "that will teach you to keep away from boys, Ashewo (meaning prostitute)!" Now I do not know which makes me feel bad, my mother doing all these things to me or my father who sees all these things been done to me and doesn't say a word?!...."

"I am Mrs Joyce Bassey (real name withheld). I have five children (12yrs, 10yrs, 8yrs, 6yrs and 4yrs old). They do not listen to me at all. Everything I ask them to do, they do not do them. I give them house chores and I end up doing them. I am tired and it's just that I do not know how to beat a child if not..."

Can we say that the 1st scenario is a case of child abuse or strict parenting? Or would the 2nd scenario be a case of "Spare the rod and spoil the child"? Well, I cannot judge O! But all I know is that I still believe in the power of talking or discussing with your kids. I believe parents should go an extra mile of telling their kids what they did wrong and why they shouldn't have done it or better still asking their kids what they think they did wrong and how or what they should have done right.

If truth be told there are still some kids, especially Nigerian kids who are so stubborn and dem no dey hear word so tey they respect cane pass their mama and papa! But, come O! Don't you think it still boils down to how that child is or was brought up. Because why?...pikin no fit train him or her sef.

On a final note, I think we parents should learn to nip certain behaviours in our kids right from the bud and not just say things like, "She is still a baby" or "It doesn't mean anything" or the famous one "He will out-grow it". If we correct these wrongs on time, we won't resort to beating, abusing or starving these kids all in the name of training them!